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Old 01-17-2015, 02:12 PM   #13
mjf
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4,212
Quote:
Originally Posted by sean52692 View Post
Mjf, do you still drink?
Short answer - no sir. It's just like that line from Get Him To The Greek - "you'll turn anything into heroin". While narcotics brought me to my knees, I now have a healthy fear of anything addictive, whether it be drugs, alcohol, gambling, whores, you name it.

Long answer in case anyone is on the fence or interested in this stuff-

I went to treatment for the very first time in 2009 after overdosing. It's when I lost my job at the pharmacy, and when all my loved ones finally realized that I had a serious problem with narcotics (all stuff from the pharmacy at the time, nothing from the street). I avoided prison because my boss thought of me as his son after working there for almost 6 years, and knew/loved me enough to know I never set out to rob the guy blind. I gave him a signed piece of paper listing all the narcotics I could remember stealing from him in case the DEA ever ran an audit on him, but he put it into a paper shredder in front me

So out of rehab, I immediately told myself that I had had a narcotic problem, but not a drinking problem. Us alcoholics have truly short memories About two days out of rehab, 3 of the pharmacist I worked for offered to take me to a bar to bury the hatchet. I drank, and saw nothing wrong with it. It took maybe 1-2 days before I was waiting at the liquor store for it to open with all the bums, shaking and praying the owner wouldn't be late. I ended up drinking myself to the point I had to withdrawal from school. After about a year of that, I had the grand revelation that my life was completely fucked just as it had been with drugs- but I wasn't enjoying the buzz nearly as much. My grand solution to stop drinking? Heroin

I went back to treatment on Jan 1, 2011. I lived up in Scranton PA until July, actually working a program. I was scared shitless for awhile of going to bars and stuff like that. By November of that year though, I realized that if I just kept working the program as I had been - I sure as fuck didn't have to walk on eggshells anymore and be so scared of meeting my friends at the bar, tailgate, etc. So around Thanksgiving, I went to a bar that had a mechanical bull riding contest that was a tradition in my group of friends. Brought someone from AA just to be safe, but had a blast and realized I was fine. So today, I tailgate at Eagles games, concerts, etc. I go to bars, parties, strip clubs, casinos... the whole nine yards. The only difference? I just don't drink. I also learned pretty quick that being around people who are blackout drunk like I used to be isn't very fun when you're sober so I typically leave a little early. But overall, I basically am at a point in my sobriety where I can do everything I used to do when I was fucked up except for actually drinking/narcotics.

With that said, all of it is contingent on how well I'm working on my sobriety. For example, I went to the bar awhile back after skipping meetings that entire week because I was busy. For the first time in a long time- I felt the obsession slowly creep in and I couldn't help but become abundantly aware of how much everyone was drinking, what, the smell, etc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayes View Post
Yeah I've been around the program for two years. Admittedly I still have a few drinks periodically, but I really love the program and the people in it have helped me immensely. I definitely feel better about just about everything, my relationships, my jobs, and driving. I'm actually serving my year on interlock right now, but I never in a million years thought I would be THANKFUL for that thing

I was on my way to horrible places (saw a few in-transit). So thankful I found my group and some perspective.
That's one of my favorite parts of the program buddy- it works differently for everyone and we can reach the same end goal by vastly different means. As I'm sure my story hinted, I'm a stone cold fuckin junkie who needs to do everything the program recommends so I went through the steps and try to incorporate them into my life to the best of my ability, I sponsor 3 guys, call my sponsor every single day, take commitments to speak at rehabs/meetings/prisons, and make about 4-7 meetings a week. I know plenty of guys whose entire program is only going to my homegroup meeting once a week... nothing else. The 3 guys like that in my homegroup have combined almost 75 years of sobriety. Whatever works for you man, good shit

Jayes, man I've been around the program awhile now... but for the absolute life of me, I don't even have the slightest fucking shred of an idea how this shit works it makes no logical sense to me why us doing this shit works. All I know is for whatever reason, today I didn't have a desire to take a drink or stick a needle in my arm. For this full blown drunk junkie, that is a miracle that I'll never even begin to understand how it works. Always very glad to hear it is working for someone else as well man, congrats I've buried so many friends and people from AA over the years that it just breaks my heart.... you and I are the lucky ones
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